Category Archives: Traditions

{Just so You Know} Engagement Ceremony

Engagements, Just So You Know, Traditions October 4, 2012 1 Comment

The second installment of the series is here!

I finally got a few minutes of peace to put together this post. I have realized how hard it can be to multitask sometimes. Oh Shahzadis, you thought planning the wedding is stressful! Wait till you’re married!

So once the families have given their blessings during the Paka Kotha, the fun part begins!

Although, this ceremony is not an age-old tradition in Bangladesh, the formal engagement ceremony in has become a pretty big deal.  This is because it is the first official announcement of the impending wedding.  It almost is like a practice run for the actual wedding.

Takes weeks to prepare, the families use this opportunity to bond and discuss the way they would like to plan the wedding.  The engagement  planning period gives the family time to also understand each family’s style and customs.  This way they know what to expect in the future.

At the engagement ceremony, the Groom to be is welcomed by the Bride to Be’s friends and family.

The groom arrives with his entourage! [Raihan Ahmed Photography]

They usually come with gifts for the bride, perhaps the sharee she will wear for the ceremony and the jewelry they give her as a token of the engagement.  They also give the bride pretty much everything that she needs to wear for the event.  Most often, the Groom is also sent the suit, shoes and anything he will wear as well by the Bride’s side.

Engagement Sharee [Raihan Ahmed Photography]

The groom’s side will also carry in a large amount of sweets that are traditionally supposed to be given away as gifts to the attendees of the ceremony as well as delivered to important people that could not make the engagement along with an announcement.

Bengali Sweets [Raihan Ahmed Photography]

The engagement ceremony features the bride and groom receiving a gift from their parents in-law. Traditionally, the groom receives a watch or cuff links; more recently, families are giving off beat gifts, like an engraved instrument if the groom has a musical background, or something that speaks to the nature of the groom.  The bride will receive a jewelry set, or set of bangles that belonged her mother in-law.  Essentially a token that represents that the families have welcomed their new member into the family with open arms.

He put a ring on it! [Raihan Ahmed Photography]

After this, the big moment arrives and the actual ring exchange takes place.  That’s right ladies… in Bangladeshi culture BOTH bride and groom get rings.  Hey… if you like it, ladies YOU should put a ring on it! Believe me we’ve been doing this for generations even before MANgagement rings were cool!

We’re Engaged! [Raihan Ahmed Photography]

And then it’s OFFICIAL! WOWWIE!

The Bangladeshi community LOVES wedding events because they get to do what they do best at these things – socialize!  We like to include our family and friends and do our version of shouting from the rooftops when good thing happen.  The engagement ceremony is just the beginning of that!  With the engagement underway, the community is alerted that a whole new set of ceremonies and get together are on the horizon!  This is what I love about the Bangladeshi wedding…

I hope you will join me in the next post in the series as we explore the Holud Ceremony!

<3

{Just so You Know} Paaka Kotha ~ The Blessing

Just So You Know, Traditions July 11, 2012 Comments: 2

Hi Shahzadis,

I am so sorry that I haven’t posted in a while! Shame on me and my day job!  LOL :P

As most of you know, I have been wanting to do a series to pay homage to a traditional Bangladeshi Muslim Wedding.  Having just celebrated my first wedding anniversary with Mr.Shahzadi, all the rituals, traditions, and events of my wedding are fresh in my mind. I think there is no better time then now to relive them again!

Here is the first post in the Just so You Know series!

I spent most of my life in North America. Therefore it’s no surprise that, growing up I was enthralled by the weddings in Bangladesh.  I always wanted to go to weddings and submerge myself in all the colours, foods, clothing, dancing and singing… as I got older, I realised that even though I wanted a traditional wedding, I lacked the knowledge that say- my mother or grandmother had on the different ceremonies and traditions.  That’s when I decided that weddings were not JUST about the clothing and the food… but the true meaning of a wedding was the love between two people and their families and the ceremonies that commemorate that love! <3 ( I know.. I get sappy when I think about it ..) 

The Bangladeshi wedding is a total process. The first step in the process is obviously -the couple- 

Traditionally, couples were arranged by the elders in the families.  Matches were made according to a variety of criteria ranging from socio-economic background, educational achievements and physical appearance among many others.  Nowadays, the trend has shifted to a couple finding their own match via a variety of methods.

Once the couple knows they want to get married, and have told their parents that they are ready, a small formal event takes place over tea and mishti/mithai where the two families gather to get to know one another.  It is a widely believed ideal that when two people marry, they do not only marry each other, but they also “marry” the family.

At this meeting, the families discuss their children and give their blessings for a possible marriage and good wishes their “Paaka Kotha” (firm verbal commitment) as they move forward into a new relationship.

An icebreaker of sorts, the Paaka Kotha aids in creating common ground for the two families as they begin the wedding planning process!

source: http://www.nidalm.com

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 552 other followers